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Sometimes I'm just wondering. Wondering "what if..?"  What if I didn't do all these things I am not proud of? If I changed all the bad things I have ever done to good things and swap all the bad times with good times? Would I be able to value all the happy feelings? Would I be able to appriciate all the good times which I spent with people I care about? What would it feel now,  if I never felt hurt or anger?